Lessons Learned from Dating Online in My 50s

Our blogger of the month, Brenda Cohorn, ends her tour of duty with us today with her lessons learned in the world of online dating at the age of 56. Talk about brave!

Online Dating


Photo by Dan Colcer.

I found myself single after 30+ years of marriage, and after a year or so I decided I would like to meet someone and maybe, eventually, marry again. I loved marriage; I enjoyed companionship and being with someone.

I lived in a town of 500 counting dogs and cats. Where would I find someone to date? There were a few men I knew that were single, but my friend kept saying “Honey, they are single for a reason” (both of us overlooking the obvious fact that I was single for a reason, too!)

My brother-in-law kept telling me to get onto Match.com.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I’m 56 years old. I’ve been a preacher’s wife for 30 years. I’m a mom to four adults. I am a grandma, for heaven’s sake. I am NOT getting on match.com.

Hmmm. You do know what happens any time you say “I am NOT…” Yep, you are right, you usually wind up doing it.

I started with E-harmony. Nothing.

Then Match.com. Met and dated three different men. I think the record is three dates! One wanted only a companion with no commitment – which is great if that’s what you want, but I wanted more. One was very nice but seemed like a brother. Then there was the replica of my ex … been there, done that.

So, I switched to Christian Mingle. The guy I met on there was a mess. More problems than I wanted to tackle!

At that point I gave up. Decided I liked living alone; I could do what I wanted when I wanted. Being married was overrated, right?

I rocked along for awhile and one Sunday night, I noticed Match.com was offering a free month. (Once you’ve been on one of those sites they send you tons of emails with special offers.) “Okay, God, I will try this for one month. If you have someone out there for me – I’m ready.” By this point in my life I was talking out loud to God, to myself and to Max the Cat. I was by myself, after all, and enjoyed hearing a voice occasionally.

I got on the website, browsed around, and saw a man that looked interesting. We matched on every question except one. (You answer thousands of several questions for them to “match” you with someone.)

Come to find out, he had just joined that day. Because my space is limited just let me say, after dating for over a year, we have now been married for 2.5 years.

Brenda's Wedding

 

It really is true that “I am now married to a wonderful Christian man that takes my breath away! He is my knight in shining armor and a solid foundation to a wonderful life. We are followers of Jesus and love each other more than we could ever have imagined.” — From my blog

I learned so many lessons during this time in my life.

I learned that it’s okay to be alone. And fun. And very fulfilling.

I learned how to date safely in this crazy world we live in. This. Is. A. Must.

I learned how to wait for the someone who really was for me and not to grab grasp at the first man who came along. I learned to be patient and listen to God.

Since then I have learned how it feels to be truly cherished by my husband just as Jesus cherishes His church.

We’ve loved having Brenda be our KWB blogger of the month! Be sure to continue visiting her at Reflections from the Midwest.

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